I hate Mondays especially if the weather is crappy!! We had rain and hail today. I got crushed by massive amounts of high school students then came out to get hit by hail and almost run over by cars. Then I get drenched in rain because the hail turned into rain and it was heavy rain. I'm so tired yet I'm not done planning what to do for my project due in December. UGH~ I think I want to go insane soon!! I think I should change my major.

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Why is it always me vs time when it comes to life. I can't beat time. *kicks the clock* I wish there was a way to stop time!! I'm always competing with time to try to finish my projects. It turns me into a crazy lady by the end of it. I usually barely beat time and finish my projects but I have been sick for 3 long weeks and is struggling to survive.

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It's coming to the end of day one. T_T I'm currently doing JUICE FASTING. T_T It's suppose to help my health, but right now I don't see it. lol
I have soooo much food around the house that I want to eat. T_T I have no will power. T_T The pile of chocolate I got recently is calling out my name. T_T I have to keep busy to stop myself from wanting to eat.

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Sometimes I feel like I don't exist. I feel so empty and out of place. I just want to scream and cry for no reason.

I feel like I can't cope with the society right now and I just want to hide... Is that normal? I guess I'm getting Hikkomori Syndrome... If I didn't have to go to school or work then I'd never go out unless I buy stuff for school.

I feel like a shadow of what I was a few years ago....

I used to be so happy and full of life but I feel like my social connections getting smaller and smaller, while everyone around me, their social connections expand more and more. I feel like I don't belong anywhere anymore.

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Sometime I get really nostalgic... I wish to return to the past. Sometime I think I miss my first love then I remember why I don't. =_=;; Then I realize how old I am.... well I'm not that old but I feel kind of old since I don't like crowds or loads of noise.

I wish I was in my teen days when I was not afraid to fall in love. -_-;; I think I'm afraid to fall in love since I have no time for the person and also I don't know what is "love". I think I'm to immature to fall in love. If that is even possible... *sweats* or my some of my friends think I just have too high expectations for love... I actually don't have much expectations... it's just love never comes my way... =P

*sigh* I WANT JAY CHOU's ALBUMMMMMM out now.... lol I pre-ordered it but it was delayed due to the leaks.... =X I'll be honest and say I heard a few songs.... lol. Stupid youtube... lol I just wanted to watch the mv for "dao xiang" =_=;; but 女兒紅 (nu er hong) is addictive... I hope it will be on the album but maybe not with that name... I think of the alcohol when I read the name~
I love this part:
"你說過我不該
you said that I should not
在這時說愛你
say at this time that I love you
要怎麼証明我沒有力氣
What would prove that I have no strength
可是暫停卻算不算放棄
If I stopped then would it be considered that I gave up

我說我不該不該
I said I should not should not
不該在這時才說愛你
should not say I love you at this time
要怎麼証明我沒有力氣
What would prove that I have no strength
我隻有一天回憶
I will have a day I will remember the past"

The translation is reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaally rough since my mandarin sucks and my reading of chinese. =-=;;

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I seriously need to rant because I've been so pissed offfffffff!!! I thought that was karma for doing bad things... but what the hell..... I helped a lady with her baby stroller off the bus and I dropped my mp3 player. I didn't notice it til the next day when I was looking for it in my bag. Maybe if I didn't help her I would not have dropped it. My poor creative Zen player and my sd card.... TT_TT I don't dare tell my family or they will yell at me... ugh.... over $100 is gone.... TT_TT I want to cry but I have to focus on my projects....

I'm done ranting but I have no mp3 player now... =( My old mp3 player is busted... =_=;;

WHY DO I HAVE THE WORST LUCK!?!?!?

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